How to be understanding?

"People are too complicated to have simple labels" - Philip Pullman

Do you ever wonder why some people are too quiet? Too loud? Too shy? Too arrogant? Too humble? Too proud? Too mean? Or even more. If you are a thinker, an observer, or just a simple curious person, perhaps you must have been thinking about this, even once.

Some of us will end up making a conclusion by critics or judging a person.

Criticism is good, only if you take it as a positive way to improve yourself.
But, too much of critics would be a big problem if you are not so good in handling and facing it.

In a process to understand a person, criticism and judging won't help you to understand them. You should know that, everybody has gone through something that has changed them. We never know how much pains did a person has gone through that made how they are now, how they acted and how they talked.

The quiet person might once be crying a lot for losing something precious in her life so she feels tired.
The louder one might be hiding up scars and grieves in herself so she has to look strong and confidence.
The shy person might once be too loud but after getting a lot of criticism or being tortured by her family, she is scared to speak out loud.
The mean person might be once too nice, but she changed because the person she loves the most used her kindness to gain something.

Who knows?

So, do you think if you blame them for being what they are now would help you to understand them?

"You are so quiet so that is why you couldn't make friends!"
When actually you don't know how much problems she is holding inside?
"You are so shy and people will think you are not friendly!"
When actually you don't know that she was too loud before and changed by overthinking too much about what people think about her.
"You are so mean and always care about your own self!"
When actually she once before care too much and with the pain in herself, she still pray for the one she loves.

People are way too mysterious.
Our attitudes are differ based on who we talk to.
Sometimes, they will be too quiet with their family, but not with their friends. Or vice versa.
So, don't expect them to change drastically by showing you are better than them, instead,
you have to show them a better way to change. With patient and love.

Islam is not about "we are better than you", but, Islam is "let me show something better for you."